she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
