So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
