THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
