It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
