Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
