big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
