THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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