I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
