THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I stole a fireplace last night.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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