U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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