Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
