Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
