playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
