And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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