Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
