The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
