No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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