I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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