sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
