I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
