Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
