Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
