Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
