My first STD was from a foam party
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
