Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
