a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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