i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
