i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
