i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
