I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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