? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
