once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize