i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
