You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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