I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
