I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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