All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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