I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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