But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
