even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
