So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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