we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
