Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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