thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
