You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
