hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
