I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
