Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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