I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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