I'm gonna have a badass scar
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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